SELFIE OBSESSION – Vanity or Empowerment ?

Phone gallery filled with duck- face pouting selfies? If this sounds like you, Then High Five ! Same here . And I use filters too. Cannot even imagine clicking a picture without one.

Trying to look a shade brighter, removing those dark circles and stubborn acne marks, or adding a little glow to our face; we all have been there. And then we post those selfies on social media and WhatsApp status, smiling to glory seeing “Likes” and comments. Basically what we are actually searching for is validation. Just like how a drug addict needs his supply, we tend to get our supply in the form of approval from others.

But, is it possible to look drop dead gorgeous all the time? Atleast I cannot. So then, I straighten my hair, apply make up and only then do I click my selfie and that too with filters. Because like every other girl, I too want to look pretty all the time when I know in reality, I can’t.

Well, to be honest, Selfies aren’t all that wrong. I mean, it creates memories and is an effective way to communicate. I can choose how I want to look, so the idea of expressing oneself the way we want to look is empowering and let’s not deny, a good selfie does give confidence boost.

So are selfies a tool of empowerment or vanity? It depends. It’s a boon because it is a tool that enables self expression but a bane, if used exclusively for seeking validation.

We have created a false self or the ideal perfect illusion of us. It’s time to drop our masks and embrace ourselves. Our real self, not the perfect false self which we have created.

ITS MY CHOICE!!

Finally have started my blog after a lot of contemplation and if you are anything like me, Confused and Indecisive, you would have also pondered a lot regarding what your first post should be. Well, a chance encounter of 20-20 biscuit advertisement in TV the other day, gave me enough fodder to contemplate and the impetus I needed. A girl was trying out a few dresses in a mall when her father asks, “Isn’t it a little short” and the mother exclaims , “Dress choti nahi Hoti, soch Hoti hai”.

No dress is indecent. Wearing clothes is a personal choice. Stop shaming our body and clothing choices. Why should people assume “Short dress= girl wants men to stare at her” ? The length of my dress is NOT a measure of my consent to have sex with you or even want you to ogle at me.

How am I responsible for the action of some “potential creep” who is going to stare at me for wearing a short dress? Please DO NOT teach your daughters to wear “Decent” clothes. When you tell us to cover ourselves and dress decently, you are damaging us and a million other girls by SHAMING us.

Instead of teaching your daughters to not wear short dresses, please teach your sons to not objectify women. Why are we constantly asked to “Cover” ourselves?

Instead, teach us that CLOTHES are NOT RESPONSIBLE for Rape, molestation and other abuse. Anyone can be sexually assaulted under any circumstances irrespective of wearing a saree or a bikini.

I remember an incident in school , when my friend’s mother was called regarding uniform’s length. The teacher tried justifying her irrational demand by stating she wanted to protect her from “Unwanted attention”. Instead of teaching boys to not view girls as sexual objects, my friend was shamed and “taught” to wear a long skirt to prevent men from staring at her. Moral Policing young girls and women has become a norm in our society! People say “Men will be men” and it’s upto us to protect ourselves by dressing “decently”. All I can say is , such regressive thinking is ingrained in our society which strips our freedom to dress as we please.

So Dear Family, Society, Well wishers , Moral Police Brigade and other Interfering busy bodies,

Next time if you tell me to dress up “Decently”, I am going to ask you to shove your Moral Policing up your **** !

Till then Goodbye friends,
Adios Amigos