Never Let Failure hold you back

Are we so afraid to fail that we do not even want to try? Have we conditioned ourselves to believe that we can’t do it? That, it is not possible? Today I will tell you a story that I read in the thoughtcatalog.com

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. ‘Well,’ trainer said, ‘when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.’ The man was amazed.

These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

So what does this teach you? Believe in yourself. If you think you can’t do something, then you are training your mind to believe that you cannot, and hence you do not succeed. Not failing isn’t important, what matters is whether you get up or not after you fail. Do not give up when you slip and don’t let fear of failure from the past hold you back in the future.
It took me a lot of time to understand that there is nothing You cannot achieve if you believe in yourself. Do you agree that believing in yourself increases your potentiality? Drop in your comments.

Happy Women’s Day

Here’s our guest blogger Shravani, from https://filmcoast.in/ with her poem. She rants that she is tired of the one-day ritual that “Women’s Day” has come to be. Of celebrities and politicians who will milk this to no end. She says everyday is a women’s day. It’s her day.

She is limitless, how can a “day” be enough to define her?
Source: Pexels

“It’s Her Day”

It’s that day of the year again

When noises will crawl
Through the air,
Calling her names,
And wrapping her with tags
She is too tired to wear!
Empowered, strong,
Beautiful, and bold
Are the only hand-picked cherries,
She is allowed to hold.

Free cocktails, glittery make-up,
and apparel discounts,
Internet quotes parroted
And tucked in a gold mount,
Stories of moms and sisters
And friends who beat the odds,
Are fed to her year after year
Because,
This is the day, they say
She can rub shoulders with the gods.

Forgotten are her cracked soles,
Playing even dad’s innings
Day after day,
That’s a mother’s job, they whisper
“So suck it up and play anyway.”

Suppressed, lay her dreams
Her wings tethered to a world
Of their design,
She just topped her school, alright,
But it’s her brother touring
greener pastures, and she is “fine.”

Cubicles, hospitals, schools
Boardrooms and more
Her cries of equal pay
Burn incessantly, till they are cast
Aside on the shore.

She asks for a little rest,
They give her none,
She wants to stop sharpening
Her claws everyday,
And have one less battle hard-won.

She is tired and grumpy
Angry and moody,
Hardly glossy and perfect
As they forever paint her,
She simply exists as in
Many shades as they do,
But branding her bossy, stubborn
Loud and slutty
is all they can do to taint her.

And so, when This Day rolls
Over to the next morn,
She will don her armour, as always
And prepare to be reborn.
The flowers they sent her
Will wilt away in patriarchy’s din
As she drapes herself for the day,
Over toughened bones and skin.
Readying herself for the next climb,
Yet,
Cool enough to pat herself
For the last one conquered.
She will shrug her shoulders
And sip some wine,
And prop her feet up
Over the imaginary “line”

Any day of the year she chooses
Because everyday is Her Day.

Happy EVERYDAY to us ladies!

————————————————-

For Guest post submissions, contact us . You can drop in your comments.

OPEN LETTER TO SLUT SHAMERS AND MORAL POLICE BRIGADE

	 
A chance encounter of a moral policing incident on television the other day gave me the impetus I needed to write this. In another bizarre incident, the Tamil Nadu police picked up a few couples who were sitting in a park and took them to the police station as they were unmarried. 

Dear cops, society well-wishers, moral police brigade and other interfering busybodies,

Who gave you a right to character assassinate or demean others in the pretext of “safeguarding Indian culture”?I have witnessed many incidents where a woman is shamed for her clothes.Till a woman is not parading naked on the street (or even if she is) who gives some cop or “society aunties” a right to question her character. Whether she chooses to wear a saree or a gown is her choice. That doesn’t make her any less Indian.

When a woman is molested or abused, people ask her,what was she wearing that day. Isn’t it ridiculous? I mean, does it even matter? Why are we Indians so defensive and insecure about our fragile masculinity and continue to support our patriarchial roots? If a woman is abused because of wearing revealing outfits, then why do infants get raped?Instead of shaming the accused, sadly our society believes in shaming the victim.

“She should have dressed decently”
“She shouldn’t have partied with men”
“She drinks and smokes so she must be available”
“She asked for it”

Our society has a rule book for how “decent women” should behave (which is nothing but oppression against women and ways and means to do so) but why are there no such guidelines for how men should behave?

I always tell my mother, when I have children, I am never going to teach my daughter to cover herself and dress “decently”, instead I’ll teach my son to not objectify women and to respect them.

Regressive thinking is ingrained in our society which strips our freedom to dress and behave as we please.
Our constitution gives us the right to freedom. Freedom to live life the way we want with our head held high. When these “Slut shamers” character assassinate us, they don’t realize that how prominently they display their narrowmindedness and in turn destroy the image of our nation.

Why should people assume that when a girl wears a short dress she wants men to ogle at her? Why is the length of someone’s dress considered a measure of her consent? Sadly “moral policing” and “slut shaming” has become a norm in our society.

STOP Chasing Confidence

I have always been an under-confident girl in my childhood. In some ways, I still am. The “Stop Being Shy ” and ‘Be Confident’ advice from my parents, friends and teachers didn’t help me one bit. I have always been an introvert, feel drained while talking to people and always feel recharged when alone.

I think we need to stop chasing self confidence. Of course it’s nice to be a bold and confident woman who is life of every party, but what if you ain’t cut for it?

Let’s stop being critical and become compassionate. The pressure to be above average, if not something unique, is daunting. We need to be kind to others and ourselves too.

Don’t let anyone bully you. Don’t give others a chance to decide for you. And most importantly, Do not let anyone treat you like shit or demean you.

Do things which make you happy. If you like reading novels, read them. If you are fond of swimming , then do it. Do things which make you happy. And most importantly respect yourself. Atleast for me, Self respect and self compassion holds more importance.

Ode to Soldiers

This year India celebrated its 70th Republic day, but unfortunately, we also witnessed Pulwama attack. I pen down this prose with immense pride and love for my country and countrymen

Here's an ode to all martyrs and servicemen. Jai Hind !!

Facing adversities, soldiers risk their life, 
Remember,they too could have stayed back and enjoyed with family and wife.
Family, holidays and pursuits of pleasure sacrificed in a trice, 
Nation is in safe hands but at what price.
Cats have nine lives, A soldier has only one, 
Beyond the call of duty, that’s sacrificed even.
Sometimes he gets a mention depending upon the occasion, Pardon the pun, the deed is done.
The bugle has played the last post, the deed is done,
A mother has lost her brave son.
All those in places mighty and high, once in a while, why can’t you think it could have been ‘I’?
A soldier has done what he must,Let not his sacrifice go to dust
Nation is safe at a price,
Let’s honour the supreme sacrifice.

Father’s Surname – Sexist ?

“What’s in a name ? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet ” – William Shakespeare

I agree but why should children automatically end up with their father’s surname?

Most of us have our father’s name, surname or caste attached to our name. And if you are a married woman, you have most probably adopted your husband’s surname after dropping your daddy’s name, (Though you do have a choice to retain it).

This whole concept of paternal surnames reek of sexism and patriarchy. My point is, why a man’s name ? Why not your mother’s name? (Though I bet her surname must also be her daddy’s name before marraige! Oh the irony!)

Now there are several innocent reasons or explanations to this Paternal-naming system – It’s easier to remember the family tree or Your poor daddy couldn’t give birth to you, atleast let him give his name and so on…..

Do not get carried away because the harsh truth is we still belong to a society where a woman’s identity is based on her father or husband’s family and status quo. She may be a doctor, lawyer or teacher, but people would still prefer addressing her as Mrs. XYZ .

In olden times, women were treated as third class citizens and were considered commodities that belonged to their husband. Haven’t the times changed now? Why are we still following this stupid outdated patriarchal naming tradition ?

Mommies give birth, carry their babies for nine months in their womb, and do majority of parenting. So isn’t it just better and fair for babies to end up with mommy’s name? Think .

Here’s few lines by “Everything But The Girl” –
You must give your child a name some time
Well you mean his and what’s wrong with mine?
Yeah, what’s wrong with mine?
I’m okay and I don’t need his name, thank you
Mine fits me nicely, mine will do
Yeah, mine will do

What is the Secret to HAPPINESS?

Are you happy? You might be thinking what a silly question but Believe me, Happiness is often underrated. Now close your eyes and think; What will make me happy? Does your happiness depend upon external factors like high salaried job, vast social circle, diamond solitaire or designer dresses ? If yes, then I do agree that it may give you a false sense of ‘feel-good’ factor but does it contribute to long term happiness ?

I believe, the secret to happiness is, to accept the simple fact that it’s not possible to be happy all the time. Surprised ? Let me elaborate. See, there will be days when you may feel sad, anxious or simply indifferent. You may have lost your loved one, you may have flunked all subjects in your college, your husband might be cheating on you, or any other adversity might be plaguing you.

It is natural to feel disappointed or sorry for yourself when things don’t go your way. But DO NOT let Self pity take over your Self-Compassion. Do not get stuck in self victimization. That’s when hope dies. Stop blaming circumstances. It’s NOT X, Y, or Z’s fault that your life is screwed. Stop whining.

It is your job to create a happy life for yourself ,and for that, you need to Believe in yourself. Tell yourself that you have handled and overcome every hurdle from your past gracefully and you will be able to do it in future too. More than the circumstances or situations, it’s your negative thoughts which cause you unhappiness.

A happy life does NOT mean having all “happy moments”. How you deal with negative emotions and conquer it, defines your happiness. Life is not a race. You are not competing with anyone. When your mind is at peace, your Inner contentment is happiness.

What I consider happiness may differ from how you define it, as happiness is subjective. Have anything to add?