Father’s Surname – Sexist ?

“What’s in a name ? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet ” – William Shakespeare

I agree but why should children automatically end up with their father’s surname?

Most of us have our father’s name, surname or caste attached to our name. And if you are a married woman, you have most probably adopted your husband’s surname after dropping your daddy’s name, (Though you do have a choice to retain it).

This whole concept of paternal surnames reek of sexism and patriarchy. My point is, why a man’s name ? Why not your mother’s name? (Though I bet her surname must also be her daddy’s name before marraige! Oh the irony!)

Now there are several innocent reasons or explanations to this Paternal-naming system – It’s easier to remember the family tree or Your poor daddy couldn’t give birth to you, atleast let him give his name and so on…..

Do not get carried away because the harsh truth is we still belong to a society where a woman’s identity is based on her father or husband’s family and status quo. She may be a doctor, lawyer or teacher, but people would still prefer addressing her as Mrs. XYZ .

In olden times, women were treated as third class citizens and were considered commodities that belonged to their husband. Haven’t the times changed now? Why are we still following this stupid outdated patriarchal naming tradition ?

Mommies give birth, carry their babies for nine months in their womb, and do majority of parenting. So isn’t it just better and fair for babies to end up with mommy’s name? Think .

Here’s few lines by “Everything But The Girl” –
You must give your child a name some time
Well you mean his and what’s wrong with mine?
Yeah, what’s wrong with mine?
I’m okay and I don’t need his name, thank you
Mine fits me nicely, mine will do
Yeah, mine will do

ITS MY CHOICE!!

Finally have started my blog after a lot of contemplation and if you are anything like me, Confused and Indecisive, you would have also pondered a lot regarding what your first post should be. Well, a chance encounter of 20-20 biscuit advertisement in TV the other day, gave me enough fodder to contemplate and the impetus I needed. A girl was trying out a few dresses in a mall when her father asks, “Isn’t it a little short” and the mother exclaims , “Dress choti nahi Hoti, soch Hoti hai”.

No dress is indecent. Wearing clothes is a personal choice. Stop shaming our body and clothing choices. Why should people assume “Short dress= girl wants men to stare at her” ? The length of my dress is NOT a measure of my consent to have sex with you or even want you to ogle at me.

How am I responsible for the action of some “potential creep” who is going to stare at me for wearing a short dress? Please DO NOT teach your daughters to wear “Decent” clothes. When you tell us to cover ourselves and dress decently, you are damaging us and a million other girls by SHAMING us.

Instead of teaching your daughters to not wear short dresses, please teach your sons to not objectify women. Why are we constantly asked to “Cover” ourselves?

Instead, teach us that CLOTHES are NOT RESPONSIBLE for Rape, molestation and other abuse. Anyone can be sexually assaulted under any circumstances irrespective of wearing a saree or a bikini.

I remember an incident in school , when my friend’s mother was called regarding uniform’s length. The teacher tried justifying her irrational demand by stating she wanted to protect her from “Unwanted attention”. Instead of teaching boys to not view girls as sexual objects, my friend was shamed and “taught” to wear a long skirt to prevent men from staring at her. Moral Policing young girls and women has become a norm in our society! People say “Men will be men” and it’s upto us to protect ourselves by dressing “decently”. All I can say is , such regressive thinking is ingrained in our society which strips our freedom to dress as we please.

So Dear Family, Society, Well wishers , Moral Police Brigade and other Interfering busy bodies,

Next time if you tell me to dress up “Decently”, I am going to ask you to shove your Moral Policing up your **** !

Till then Goodbye friends,
Adios Amigos