I am an introvert born in a family of extroverts. As a society, we don’t really understand introverts. Ever since I was a kid, I always preferred to play by myself. I remember wanting to always stay in my room and read, or even sleep rather than come outside and socialise.
Not all introverts are prone to social anxieties and those who have, don’t realise it, till it takes a toll and causes mental havoc.
Felt I am a weirdo because of anxiety
Growing up, I have always felt I was abnormal while others thought I was just shy and would grow out of it. Today I am almost thirty years old and never “grew out of it” because I was never “shy” in the first place.
I am an introvert with social anxiety and I am going to tell you the difference between both, in the hope that it would benefit others.
My life might look quite normal on the surface but there is a myriad of thoughts that generate in my mind and it happens all the time. If you have social anxiety, you will feel people are constantly judging you, ridiculing or even laughing at you.
Now picture yourself walking alone on the road. I will show you the contrast.
When You walk – just walk and probably appreciate nature while walking
When I walk – trying to just walk and suddenly it strikes me, Am I walking weirdly? Are my arms swinging too much? Do I look crazy? Are those two people standing at the end of the road (who don’t even know I exist) laughing at me?
See the difference? This is what anxiety does to a person.
Cafeteria and classroom is a nightmare for someone with social anxiety. Attendance was the most dreaded time during school and college. It was an ordeal.
Why? Picture this. The teacher calls out my name,
ME: Present Ma’m (Did anyone notice my double chin and Should I say Yes madam or is it present, and was I loud enough? And what if the teacher didn’t hear me and marks me absent!)
Picking up phone call is another ordeal. Now you can guess why my phone is on silent mode all the time. It is overwhelming to talk, that’s why most people with social anxieties prefer messaging compared to calling.
Self conscious and awkward
I feel so comfortable being around my family and relatives. Maybe one or two closest friends, but when it comes to anyone else, I feel so awkward. I feel self-conscious, its easier to just stay at home than meet people. It is draining and exhausting being around people.
I used to feel sick when people advised me that I must fit in and not become a recluse. Though I try to be polite and listen, honestly I just want to run from there.
Difference between introversion and social anxiety
If you are an introvert, you may avoid large crowds and social gatherings as you will find it draining. You embrace solitude, but if you have social anxiety, not only you will find socialising overwhelming but it will cause distress and may take hours or days to recover and feel normal again.
Introverts are not afraid of meeting people. They don’t go out much because they simply don’t want to. If the thought of going out unnerves you and you try to stay away from possible interactions that come with everyday task and normal activities like shopping and going to gym induces fear, then it is not just introversion.
Basically, introversion is an inborn personality trait whereas social anxiety is a form of psychological illness.
In my next post, I will be telling you how you can overcome your social anxiety and lead a peaceful life. Drop-in your comments if you found this article helpful.
I love how real and honest you present introverts and social anxiety. They are not one and the same. And introverts don’t need to become extroverts. We can be quite content with our regular lives and smaller circles. And the world is so much better for having multiple types of people, personalities, and lifestyles to blend, learn, and grow with each other. –Ryan
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Thank you so much 💟
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Well it’s true that being anxious and introvert are a bit different, but sometimes you get a mix of things. I’m a person who usually avoid gatherings and stuff if I can help it( and that’s bcz I just don’t want to), but there are occasions where I do get anxious and tensed. I think all of us have some form of extrovertedness and introvertedness, shy, anxious, confident characteristics traits. It’s just that a few of us are a bit more of one and a bit less of the other. But the minority portion still exists.
Nice writing anyways. 🤟👍
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Well said 🙂 And thank you !
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This post was a real eye opener and it resonated with me! I was bullied and it made me shy. The social anxiety was such that the nervousness would cause me to drop things and even trip in the hallways! It was a mess! Thank goodness I’ve regained my confidence and feel comfortable in my own skin. It’s a freedom like no other!
Thank you for posting!
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I still drop things 🙂 , Thank you for reading 💕
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Anytime! ❤
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First of all let me thank you for this greatly clarifying post, Sneha. I love the two drawings to distinguish a simply introverted person from another one with social anxiety. Although I myself tend to be more on the extroverted side, the friends I choose are often introverts and some had or still have social anxiety. In this respect, I fully empathise with everyone who feels the way you tell in this great post. If you met me you’d say I am an extrovert, communicative and optimistic person, but deep inside I have many insecurities and fears. I am a rather unstable person and try to overcome all this by creating things that make people and myself feel good. For instance, I created a video with a Dance Revolution to honor International Women’s Day. It is my latest post and I hope you like it: https://momentsbloc.wordpress.com/
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Thank you for stopping by, i will surely check 🙂
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Thank you.😄❤
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oh in my case people think I’m arrogant only because I don’t talk much , also my friends think I no longer like them as I used to be so talkative then I no longer want to hang out with them but in fact hanging out & meeting up with people mainly really drain my energy
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Impressed by your blog🤩
People don’t usually think that they are living two lives; one that is real and the other is on social media.
I also wrote about it in my latest blog, so lemme know your thoughts on that.
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Thank you, glad you liked it 🙂
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I enjoy meeting people, but I’m quite an awkward person. I’ve always believed I have social anxiety. Good read!
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I so can relate..reading this post was like walking through my own life.. people think I’m shy, but I’m really not.. I am both of these too. It feels good to know I am not alone. .
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You are not alone 🙂 Thank you for stopping by to read
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Thank you for the post. ^_^
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Does having social anxiety cause low tolerance for loud music?? I can’t stand to stay long at parties when they play loud music. And I hate lights that are too bright.. hmmm.
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I love loud music but only when I am the one putting it , that too only in my room.
I dislike loud music in parties too. Noises scare me
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That’s exactly how it is also with me. Does that mean you don’t go to parties?
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Hey waiting for ur next post
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This is so helpful. I have both conditions. Won’t even go for a walk during the day for fear of what other will think of me as they drive by. (roll eyes)
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Same here 😀
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This is so helpful. I have both conditions. Won’t go for walks during the day for fear of what people think of me as they drive by. (roll eyes)
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Sneha ur articles are always beneficial for others..i really enjoy reading urs…
Looking fwd to next article eagerly…
Now coming to me..i was also kind of person who always thought..people r talking about me ..they might be laughing at me ..i m not gud looking..why will someone choose me…i m stupid..i was in hostel so i always thought myself as nerd n geek…i was very low confidence girl..nobody likes me n blah blah..list is too long to write..but i just want to add something that i really found helpful in this recovery process…
I was thinking like this coz i believed so
But the day i stopped beliveing it dint effect me anymore..
I started taking stupidity as my plus point…
If a person says to me
I m intelligent n u r stupid..so i started giving it back like..
Nobody will give value to intelligent people if there are no stupid people..
So you shud appreciate my stupidity n uniqueness….hahaha..
.and Fortunately I got gud frens at office who din’t judge me…so i got confidence n i stopped thinking that way…
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Thank you so much 🙂 Am glad you like reading my articles .
Absolutely :), You have penned it beautifully. Self acceptance is crucial
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Thnks sneha…keep writing..
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I am an introvert too. I try to avoid going to social gatherings or functions. Such things makes me anxious. If I have to go some function, I try to find a corner and avoid people. People don’t understand introverts.
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I try to avoid going out as much as possible, but being from an Army family, socialising is not something which we can avoid completely.
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I used to think I am neither. But now I want to read more on this. I don’t think there is anything wrong with an introvert or a socially anxious person. It’s a trait and one ought to embrace it. So whatever I discover now about myself will be a new page in my life’s book.
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Jyoti, Some people are introverts, whereas some are extroverts.
Some feel recharged staying at home, while some derive their energy by socialising and meeting people.
There is nothing wrong with both, they are personality traits.
Social Anxiety is not a personality trait, it is a psychological illness and takes a toll on mental health.
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What is that which makes you an introvert? Is it a born quality or bringing up makes you one. Pl analyse after speaking to various person. It might help if you find some ans
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Introverts get their energy by focusing inside themselves and need alone time to recharge themselves.
Extroverts, on the other side, seek stimulation outside themselves and prefer to be with others to get their energy
Both are different personalities but social anxiety takes place due to primary caretaker’s parenting (Criticising, comparing) and social environment example, bullying.
Anxiety takes place due to intense fear of being judged, ridiculed, and criticised.
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I am an extrovert, this is a fabulous piece that reminds me of the slightly different needs of those who are more introverted 💖
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Thank you so much 🙂
When I was a kid, I always wished I could turn into an extrovert, so that life would be simpler.
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I was never an introvert. As a child I loved playing with friends. When I became a teenager, I lost my friends and was bullied. It caused me to develop social anxiety which turned me into an introvert. I now don’t like being around people anymore. I got special permission in high school to be late to class
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Am so sorry to hear this. Bullies are horrible people.
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Idk if you’d read this but…Somewhere down the line… Bullies are the people who are themselves self conscious and mentally weak, they put others down to improve their reputation in their own eyes!
Even I’m an introvert but believe me… There are good people on this Earth as well😇
Hope you find some amazing friends in life and more importantly, befriend yourself to an extent where you never put yourself down due to external opinions or situations 💛
Stay blessed☺😇
-theinkwarrior
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Very well said ☑️
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This is so damn relatable. I still think if I was audible during attendance or not 😂
Looking forward to reading the next article
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Haha, Attendance was an ordeal. Thank you, am glad you could relate to it 🙂
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