What is the Secret to HAPPINESS?

Are you happy? You might be thinking what a silly question but Believe me, Happiness is often underrated. Now close your eyes and think; What will make me happy? Does your happiness depend upon external factors like high salaried job, vast social circle, diamond solitaire or designer dresses ? If yes, then I do agree that it may give you a false sense of ‘feel-good’ factor but does it contribute to long term happiness ?

I believe, the secret to happiness is, to accept the simple fact that it’s not possible to be happy all the time. Surprised ? Let me elaborate. See, there will be days when you may feel sad, anxious or simply indifferent. You may have lost your loved one, you may have flunked all subjects in your college, your husband might be cheating on you, or any other adversity might be plaguing you.

It is natural to feel disappointed or sorry for yourself when things don’t go your way. But DO NOT let Self pity take over your Self-Compassion. Do not get stuck in self victimization. That’s when hope dies. Stop blaming circumstances. It’s NOT X, Y, or Z’s fault that your life is screwed. Stop whining.

It is your job to create a happy life for yourself ,and for that, you need to Believe in yourself. Tell yourself that you have handled and overcome every hurdle from your past gracefully and you will be able to do it in future too. More than the circumstances or situations, it’s your negative thoughts which cause you unhappiness.

A happy life does NOT mean having all “happy moments”. How you deal with negative emotions and conquer it, defines your happiness. Life is not a race. You are not competing with anyone. When your mind is at peace, your Inner contentment is happiness.

What I consider happiness may differ from how you define it, as happiness is subjective. Have anything to add?

Published by

Sneha

Sneha is an award-winning blogger and has also been featured in Deccan Chronicle newspaper. She left her job at IBM India to venture into blogging in 2018. This blog is India's Feminist and Personal Development blog for women and focuses on self-improvement and self-acceptance.

53 thoughts on “What is the Secret to HAPPINESS?”

  1. Nice one. Really loved your writing .
    Basically I need this , I was self victimized recently but I have started to find happiness in myself so yeah your post indeed boosted my morale a bit more. A much needed for me. Thanks for writing .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sneha, I feel happiness is relative and depends on how we feel about ourselves, inner emotions or the ritual of having a glass of tea at the roadside. Having a peg of whisky and relaxing can be happiness or speaking to a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Not much..u have dived into the concept quite beautifully, already. And rightly said, happiness is a very subjective emotion..
    For me, if something can make u smile & fill with content.. That’s happiness,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Nishant for always giving me positive and constructive feedbacks.
      Really appreciate 🙂
      Do subscribe to my blog snehaexpression.com , that is if u haven’t subscribed already 🙂

      Like

  4. Sneha, this is so well said, dear, that I couldn’t agree more.
    I can just add that a person can be happy only if she/he is in harmony with herself/himself. And this can be achieved if we don’t let ourselves get carried away or blinded by our success, nor get disheartened by our failures. Both successes and failures are an integral part of each person’s life and we can be happy only if we learn how to cope with both of them equally well, which is not always an easy thing to do, but worthwhile.
    If you ask me, real happiness lies in defeating our ego, our hatred, sadness, depressive thoughts. Happiness can’t be bought, it is the result of our positive thoughts. Also, happiness is not anyone’s privilege and it is completely up to us whether we’ll think that our ‘glass of life’ is half-filled and enjoy consuming it, or believe it is half-empty and keep frowning and mourning over it till the end, depriving ourselves of the possibility to experience happy moments it offers.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very well written post… Yes, i would like to add…
    Happiness is actually part of unhappiness… if you want happiness you will have to remain unhappy.. The unhappier you are, then only a few moments, few and far between, will be those of happiness… The wanting itself is the root cause of unhappiness in life… .Happiness is worthless- it depends on unhappiness… happiness cannot exists without unhappiness..
    But there do exist something called bliss.. Bliss is transcendence- one moves beyond the duality of being “happy and unhappy”. One watches both – happiness comes, one watches and does not become identified with it… One does not say, “I am happy. One simply watches and says, “Yes, a white cloud passing.” And then comes unhappiness, and one does not become unhappy either. One says, “A black cloud passing – I am the witness, the watcher, the know-er of this reality that cloud is passing… the aware self, the conscious self…”
    For that kind of person there is no happiness no unhappiness, s/he is the witness of dark and white clouds passing by… S/he is the indifferent witness of both… totally untouched and blissful…
    Thank you for sharing beautiful post, keep writing… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative.
    I’m going to watch out for brussels. I’ll be grateful if you continue this in future.
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    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post !!!
    It is your job to create a happy life for yourself ,and for that, you need to Believe in yourself. Agreed
    👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
    A happy life does NOT mean having all “happy moments”. How you deal with negative emotions and conquer it, defines your happiness. …..true💯
    Liked your concept & perceptions _
    Life is not a race. You are not competing with anyone. When your mind is at peace, your Inner contentment is happiness.
    Keep sharing 💙

    Like

  8. Thanks for liking my post. This article is a good and important one – chasing happiness is almost guaranteed to fail. If we stop searching for it, but pursue good relationships, good ideas, and good things, then happiness is sure to follow. I like these words of yours:
    “More than the circumstances or situations, it’s your negative thoughts which cause you unhappiness.”
    “When your mind is at peace, your Inner contentment is happiness.”
    Sneha, my question for you now is: How do we change our negative thoughts? How do we bring or find peace for our minds?

    Like

    1. Thank you , The answer to your question would be stop giving importance to negative thoughts. Don’t keep feeding them using self pity, anger or any other emotion. That being said, don’t do Thought stopping .
      Thought stopping means being on the lookout for negative thoughts and insisting that they be eliminated.

      The problem with thought stopping is that the more you try to stop your negative thoughts the more they will surface.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yup and stay away from people who pull you down or criticize you .
        And stop wallowing in self pity. Don’t say life has been so cruel to me. Instead focus on your good memories and count your blessing

        Liked by 1 person

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    Like

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  12. Sneha – Aarati my sister, told me about your blog yesterday and started reading your thoughts. Keep up the clarity, courage and conviction in what you have to say! its so refreshing to see such unfiltered words in a world full of self-censorship. Glad i stumbled upon this!

    Like

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