Introvert and social anxiety

I am an introvert born in a family of extroverts. As a society, we don’t really understand introverts. Ever since I was a kid, I always preferred to play by myself. I remember wanting to always stay in my room and read, or even sleep rather than come outside and socialise.

Not all introverts are prone to social anxieties and those who have, don’t realise it, till it takes a toll and causes mental havoc.

Felt I am a weirdo because of anxiety

Growing up, I have always felt I was abnormal while others thought I was just shy and would grow out of it. Today I am almost thirty years old and never “grew out of it” because I was never “shy” in the first place.

I am an introvert with social anxiety and I am going to tell you the difference between both, in the hope that it would benefit others.

My life might look quite normal on the surface but there is a myriad of thoughts that generate in my mind and it happens all the time. If you have social anxiety, you will feel people are constantly judging you, ridiculing or even laughing at you.

Now picture yourself walking alone on the road. I will show you the contrast.


When You walk – just walk and probably appreciate nature while walking
When I walk – trying to just walk and suddenly it strikes me, Am I walking weirdly? Are my arms swinging too much? Do I look crazy? Are those two people standing at the end of the road (who don’t even know I exist) laughing at me?

See the difference? This is what anxiety does to a person.

Cafeteria and classroom is a nightmare for someone with social anxiety. Attendance was the most dreaded time during school and college. It was an ordeal.

Why? Picture this. The teacher calls out my name,

ME: Present Ma’m (Did anyone notice my double chin and Should I say Yes madam or is it present, and was I loud enough? And what if the teacher didn’t hear me and marks me absent!)

Picking up phone call is another ordeal. Now you can guess why my phone is on silent mode all the time. It is overwhelming to talk, that’s why most people with social anxieties prefer messaging compared to calling.

Self conscious and awkward

I feel so comfortable being around my family and relatives. Maybe one or two closest friends, but when it comes to anyone else, I feel so awkward. I feel self-conscious, its easier to just stay at home than meet people. It is draining and exhausting being around people.

I used to feel sick when people advised me that I must fit in and not become a recluse. Though I try to be polite and listen, honestly I just want to run from there.

Difference between introversion and social anxiety

If you are an introvert, you may avoid large crowds and social gatherings as you will find it draining. You embrace solitude, but if you have social anxiety, not only you will find socialising overwhelming but it will cause distress and may take hours or days to recover and feel normal again.

Introverts are not afraid of meeting people. They don’t go out much because they simply don’t want to. If the thought of going out unnerves you and you try to stay away from possible interactions that come with everyday task and normal activities like shopping and going to gym induces fear, then it is not just introversion.

Basically, introversion is an inborn personality trait whereas social anxiety is a form of psychological illness.

In my next post, I will be telling you how you can overcome your social anxiety and lead a peaceful life. Drop-in your comments if you found this article helpful.

Weight loss : How I lost 12 kilos in 3 months

If you have landed here, it implies that you were searching articles to lose weight. The reason could be anything ranging from looking good, to wanting to become fitter or simply to avoid health issues.

I am not going to write about the necessity of losing weight because we all know being overweight can pose a serious risk of developing health issues like diabetes , high blood pressure and other medical problems.

You have clicked on this post because you want to shed some kilos and that’s exactly what I am going to help you with . Though I went on to lose 15 kilos in 6 months, I managed to lose the first 12 kilos in just three months!

Featured in Times of India

Lose weight without exercise

There is no denying that a combination of cardio and strength training is the best way to lose weight but what if you are somebody who hates exercising? Is there no way to lose weight without exercise? Viola, Good news ! I lost 12 kilos in three months without any exercise and you can do it too. I keep trying different diets to see what works for me. Unfortunately I am a lazy bum, who doesn’t like going to gym. So, I lost weight by diet modification and walking for an hour daily . Yes, its as simple as that. Walk and lose weight.

Lose 12 kilos in three months

There isn’t one universal method to lose weight. Some diets may work for you and some may not. So instead of starving or trying some crazy diet, we will just modify your food habits a bit. I did it and I lost weight. So, what’s the harm in trying? Here are a few pointers to remember.

  1. Walk for one hour every day without fail. (Jogging and running would yield better result but I told you, I am lazy, right?)
  2. No junk food. You know this, right? You didn’t expect to binge on burger and lose weight, Did you? So, no chips, no burger, no cold drinks, no french fries, no noodles.
  3. Strict no to sugar and refined flour (maida).
  4. No carbs for breakfast and dinner. Have proteins for breakfast.
  5. Replace sugar with stevia. You want to drink tea but cannot use sugar, right? That’s why use Stevia instead of sugar (please buy stevia, it will save you from putting on few extra kilos)
  6. Take Apple cider vinegar daily. Every Morning when you wake up, the first thing you should have is lemon water. (Lukewarm water + lemon+ Apple cider vinegar)

Weight loss pictures – From Fat to Fit

BEFORE

Sneha Narayanan Fat to fit
At 67 kilos

AFTER

Weight loss journey
Approx 55 Kgs

Weight loss diet chart

  1. Morning around 8 pm- Lukewarm Lemon water. Add a spoon of apple cider vinegar to it .
  2. Breakfast – After an hour of having lemon water, consume your breakfast. You can have boiled eggs or scrambled paneer or lentil crepe(dal dosa). Basically take proteins and not carbohydrates for breakfast. You will lose weight faster if you skip the egg yolks when you are having boiled eggs.
  3. Lunch – 1 Roti + sabzi + curd + dal ( Yes, only one roti. Don’t give me those looks! You want to lose weight, right? Then do not pile up on carbs). Eat veggies and curd everyday. If you are a non vegetarian, then you can have chicken instead of dal.
  4. Evening – soup/ green tea. I generally have spinach or tomato soup in the evening. Do not use cornflour while making soups please. Try making it using water, veggies and condiments. Yes, milk is permissible. You can have tea or coffee but not with sugar.
  5. Dinner – Proteins and veggies. Try having salad. Yes, make a salad of one cucumber and tomato and eat it for your dinner. Please don’t add corn or other carbohydrates in it. You can add paneer, you can add cheese, even butter, but no carbohydrates for dinner! If you are a non vegetarian , you can have tandoori chicken or grilled chicken for dinner every alternate day . If you don’t like salad, then eat something which has negligible carbs.

WEIGHT LOSS TRICK

A calorie deficit is required for weight loss. If you do not burn the amount of calories that you consume, you may gain weight. By decreasing your caloric intake you can create a calorie deficit and lose weight. But do not make it too low as it can reduce your metabolism.

Consume lot of fibre. A low-fiber diet may be compromising your weight loss efforts.

How I lost 11 kgs
Weight loss transformation

Weight loss story: This girl lost 15 kilos by walking for one hour every day! – Times of India

Excited to inform that my weight loss story has also been featured in Times of India !

Which weight loss method has worked for you? Drop in your comments

Kabir Singh controversy and glorification of misogyny

Violent and misogynist? Does the character, Kabir Singh played by Shahid Kapoor, fit in this category? The answer is a reverberate and massive YES! I am not against showing misogyny in movies. I understand that not all movies are made for educational purposes, nor every movie needs to be morally correct. The only issue I have with this movie is, that it ended up normalising, in fact “glorifying” toxic relationship. How is it okay to justify violence against women in the name of ‘love’?

Okay, not only the hero but I also have issues with the heroine’s character. The woman is too demure, sometimes almost mute. All she does is ‘babying’ him in the movie. She lacks a backbone and is so gullible that it becomes irritating to watch her after a point, though the actress has done a good job.

JUSTIFICATION OF TOXIC MASCULINITY

Though the film is good in direction, screenplay and acting, it is the characterisation which is extremely problematic. Why is it so difficult for some people to understand that love should be liberating and not scary or overwhelming.

MISOGYNIST – Why I feel this movie is wrong on so many levels

There is a blatant glorification of misogyny and this movie tries to justify a sexist and toxic relationship. There should be mutual respect in a relationship. You do not own your partner. Your partner is your companion, not your property to slap her/him or decide whom she can talk to or be with friends with.

When the girl’s father refuses to accept him, he slaps her and leaves her crying and goes off giving an ultimatum. What would you do in such a case? Break his bones and break off with him, right? But here, she clings to him even more and begs him to not leave her! I know, totally bizarre!

I haven’t even come to the body-shaming part. He instructs her to be friends with only fat girls! Can somebody tell the director that Fat shaming is not cool? This character is so flawed and angry with the whole world that he doesn’t even behave properly with his family. And did I mention that he tries to sexually assault a girl in the opening scene itself?

KABIR SINGH BOX OFFICE COLLECTION

The Shahid Kapoor starrer has already crossed 200 Crore mark in just two weeks! It has become one of the highest-grossing films of 2019. The controversy around the film definitely helped it in raking huge numbers. As they say, negative publicity is also good publicity!

KABIR SINGH FILM CONTROVERSY

In an interview with Anupam Chopra, the director of this movie Sandeep Reddy said “When you are deeply in love and are connected to a woman, if you don’t have the liberty of slapping each other, then I don’t see anything there”. He further stated that the people who are complaining now have never experienced real love! Since then, the director has been trolled and criticised on social media.

Badminton player Jwala Gutta wrote, “Movie was a movie…but justifying physical abuse?? If u love someone u have the right to slap? Gosh…this guy needs to be shown all the love without physical hurt!! Pathetic!!”

Kubbra Sait took to twitter and instagram to share two videos, which take a dig on Sandeep Reddy Vanga’s statement. In one video, Kubbra is seen slapping herself. She wrote, “If you can’t love yourself, you haven’t really loved yourself.”

Sona Mohapatra in her tweet said, “Does the actor have no responsibility for choosing to play a part in a narrative that can set us back as a society? Is that all we have become? Creatures of ambition?” When some twitter user pointed out that she had sung an item song ‘Bedardi Raja’, Sona wrote, “U are the nth moron trying to make such a false equivalence. A woman singing lustily & celebrating her own sexuality isn’t likely to cause violence & isn’t the same thing as a man grabbing a woman without her consent, kissing her apart from several other such toxic masculine acts.”

The copyright of this poster belongs to the graphic artist/film maker/distributor.

Have you watched this movie? Drop in your comments. Would love to hear your views. Check this article from Hindustan Times in case you are interested in reading other reactions for his controversial statement. Click here .

POEM

When a thought is created,
It leaves an impact fated.

The heart follows as mandated,
Emotions are then generated.

Based on those feelings,
Behavioural pattern changes.
Between bleeding and healing,
This mortal outrage ranges.

I wish I could lock away,
My tremulous mind, for once.

And let not these monsters sway
my bliss of a thousand defiant suns.

Copyright © Sneha Narayanan

Book Title : Pebbles on Paper

Author – Swati Khatri

Rating – 4.2/5

Pebbles on paper by Swati Khatri is a collection of poems depicting the emotions that we go through at different stages of life. This book is divided into twelve parts. The author covers topics like Self love, Art, motivation, thoughts, pain and reflections that life throws at us.

While reading the poems, I felt deeply invested in them. The author’s emotions and thoughts connected with me. She has an impressive way with her words. Some of the poems really stood out for me.

Though I loved all the poems, some of my favourite lines are –

“Yes, you have to move,
and not wait for anyone to approve”

“But I wonder, do you exist,
Does such love still persist? “

“I wanted so much from you,
But you gave me just a few.
At times you promised something more
But never kept up with the score “

If I have to sum up this book into three words, it would be – Real, Raw and motivating. This book is beautifully constructed and is a decent read. Every poem has something that you will be able to relate to.

Will definitely recommend it !

Do you read poetry? Which is the last book that you have read ?

Book title – I am in love with myself

Author : Deeksha Tripathi
Rating : 5/5

This book is a beautiful and insightful collection of 51 heart warming poems, dedicated to women, and highlights the importance of loving yourself and  self acceptance. I felt deeply connected to it. It’s easy to read and at the same time, inspiring.

Every poem conveys a message. The author bravely talks about important issues like – Periods, Marital rape, transgender, virginity, adoption, being a stepmother, C-section, being plus size, not having a child, remaining unmarried, Finding love after marriage, mental health etc.

Some of my favourite lines from this book are –

“He’s not my husband, but my rapist,
For whom my will and consent don’t even exist”

“But the world is jealous of our bond,
It tries to break it by calling me a foster mom ! “

“Since my love life failed, I decided to not get caged,
By marrying anyone for the sake of just being tagged”

I loved this author’s style of writing. This book has some great messages that you can take away from it. Though I loved all the poems a lot, my favourite would be – Living with a Rapist and Pricking Touches.

Think positive and achieve better self esteem and clarity with this book.

The Girl in the dreams


Author – Pravin Agarwal
Rating – 4.9/5

This is a historical thriller with the perfect blend of mystery and romance using different timelines.

The four main characters of this story are Vivaan the protagonist, Riya, Rachit, and Swara.

2017 timeline –
Vivaan is a NASA scientist getting engaged to his childhood friend and love, Riya. Meanwhile he is having strange recurring dreams of a mysterious girl in heavy traditional outfit. On Riya’s advice, he visits a psychiatrist and while returning home meets with an accident and in that accident unfortunately Rachit gets hurt a little but they turn friends.

Vivaan along with his fiance Riya and friend Rachit flies to Madhya Pradesh to unravel the 500 year old mystery.

1500 AD – Shrinika is heartbroken after being betrayed by Rudra, the king of Ujjain.

Why did Shrinika mysteriously disappear? Why did Rudra betray her? Is Vivaan related to king Rudra? Who is this mysterious girl in Vivaan’s dreams?
Were Vivian and Rachit, friends even 500 years ago? Was Rachit killed by mistake ? Did someone curse Vivaan because of which he lost his memory?

You need to read this wonderful thriller to know all the answers. The pace is good, plot is unique and the storyline is exciting. The author has done a fantastic job. This is a nail biting romantic thriller, full of mystery and unexpected turns. Will definitely recommend this book .

Book Review – OUR LOVE STORY

Author – Rohit Sharma

Rating – 5/5

True love happens without any planning. It happens just like that .. in an instant. And by the time you try to understand what is happening, you are already in love.”

Our love story

“Our Love story” is a Romantic and an inspiring tale of love and heartbreak, with its share of smiles and tears. It’s the story of a struggling model Veronica (VJ) and the son of a filthy rich business tycoon Aditya Bakshi.

Veronica is fed up of the casting couch and the directors trying to harass her and decides to end everything . She is about to jump in the sea, when someone holds her hand and stops her. This guy is the protagonist Aditya Bakshi.

I love the characterization of Aditya. He is such an amazing guy – pure hearted, selfless, giving and always has a smile on his face. He yearns for his father’s love but his father holds him responsible for losing his wife.

Will destiny bring them together? Does Aditya have some terminal illness which he is hiding behind his happy-go-lucky persona? Will his father make amends with him?

The writing style and narration is excellent and smooth, I felt like I am watching some good bollywood movie. Tried hard to find some criticism /constructive feedback so that I can mention it in my review, but found none.

Danielle steel and Preeti shenoy are my favorite authors and now, one more author makes it to my favourite’s list. Rohit Sharma has done an excellent job here. This book is nothing short of a masterpiece. Definitely a must buy if you like Romance genres.

Have you read this book? Were you planning to? Is this review helpful? Drop in your comments

Book Title : Faith and the BelovedAuthor : Kochery C Shibu

Rating : 3 / 5

Faith and the Beloved

Faith and Beloved is a riveting saga of love, lust, betrayal and revenge.

This book has two parallel plots – One is of Naithy and her daughter Alice, the other of two brothers, Arun and Prem. This book starts with a murder being committed. Alice killed her step father Tony D’Souza and is on the run for her life. The plotline kept me on my toes. I loved the storyline as well as the narration.

Criticism –
Though the story is intriguing and engaging, it has too many characters
and as they say, too many cooks spoil the broth. Too many characters, unnecessary details, too much of sexual scenes and bad editing spoils the book. This book had all the chances of being one of the best thriller books of our country, if only the author had sent the manuscript for another round of editing.

Book title -The Blockbuster health Vol 1Author : Dr. Sharad KulkarniRating : 4/5

This book , an Amazon Bestseller, focuses on good and healthy diet habits, and the second volume deals with lifestyle habits.


I learnt about various things, like importance of carbohydrates, deficiency of vitamin and minerals, importance of dietary fibres and why we should drink lot of water.


Also learnt about the 3 hour rule. Food should be consumed within 3 hours of preparation.


Did you know some food are incompatible together, like fruit and yoghurt or Milk and banana, and we shouldn’t have it together.


This book has motivated me. It is informative and very well penned. Definitely a must buy.

Book Title -YOU’RE MUCH BIGGER THAN MY DREAMS


Author – Yazi Krishna
Rating – 5/5

I was looking forward to read a book in romantic genre, when I saw rave reviews of this book on social media and requested the author for a review copy.
I am glad I picked this book, because this is one of the best books that I have read in recent times from an Indian author.

What is Love? Does true love exist? Does the love continue till the end?

Does the protagonists Vijay and Syahirah’s relationship survive?

Now picturise this…
The story starts with protagonist Digvijay’s (Vijay) friend Vishal Nag waiting at a cafe for him. Digvijay steps out of his car in his favourite black blazer. Both walk towards the corner in the cafe, where a 30 year old Mr. Sidhesh Banerjee is sitting..
As they order some coffee, Digvijay says ,” Mr. Banerjee, I am in love with your sister”….
And then the story unfolds!

(Mr. Banerjee is none other than Syahirah’s brother! )

This book is a delight to read and beautifully manages to capture the essence of two people in love. Actually, this book is not just about love, it is a story of success, failure, emotions, family and friendship.

I loved the author’s style of writing, narration is excellent . Despite the author having no writing experience prior to this, he has beautifully woven the plot and seamlessly blended it. I will definitely recommend this book and am rating it 5/5.

Love is universal. Love is trust. Love is joy. Love is divine, non-judgmental and long lasting. According to the author,  Love is forever….

What is Love according to you? Have you read this book? Are you planning to? Drop in a comment ❤️

Book Review | Bloom For Yourself | Sneha Narayanan

“Review” ‘Bloom For Yourself’ by ‘Sneha Narayanan’ is the gentle reminder of being yourself in this changing world. This is the short book of self acceptance and empowering ourselves. This book is the reminder to be okay in your skin and being strong in these sorbid Patriachy that shackles women in our stereotype society. . […]

Book Review | Bloom For Yourself | Sneha Narayanan

Thank you, for this review. To purchase “Bloom for yourself” , click here .

Book Review – Rakshabandhan

Title – Rakshabandhan: The fading bonds of faith

Author : Nishtha Shrivastava

Rating : 4.5/5

Rakshabandhan: The fading bonds of faith written by Nishtha, is a beautifully penned story of Nisha and her two brothers.
The book shows the unconditional love and bonding between Nisha and her brothers, Gourav and Hansit. Nisha’s parents seperate and after seperation, Nisha goes to Allahabad to live with her mother and her brother.

“If being silent can bring happiness to the rest of the world, one can definitely bleed is what she learnt in childhood”

Will she overcome all the troubles? To know more, read this book. This is not just a book, but an emotion, poignantly penned by the author.